November 12, 2003 I did these photos quite a while ago...almost a year I think. Before that, who knows when the last time was that I went out with an idea in my head for photographs and actually shot it. Looking at all of the pictures on this site it might look like I get out and shoot quite a bit, but when you stop to think that the pictures on here are really all I have to show for the last 12 years or so it's actually quite pitiful. I just can't seem to find the motivation to do anything these days. I'm not just talking about pictures either...even getting out of bed is getting harder and harder to do every day. The longer I can stay asleep the less I have to think about the fucked up mess my life has become. I know that's not a very peachy outlook on life and most people always throw out that gem of a pick-me-up..."Cheer up. It could always be worse". Well fuck you! I know it can always be worse because most of my waking hours these days are spent thinking of all of the different ways my life is without a doubt going to get worse and wondering why it is that after all of these years of being such an optimist, I can't see the slightest bit of light at the end of the tunnel no matter how hard I squint.

I don't want to be like this. But I can't seem to do anything about it. I have no one to blame but myself for the way things are and I'm the only one that's going to be able to fix it. I have no idea where to start though. I need to turn my whole life upside down and...
I was about to go into specifics there but I think I need to sleep and if I start that I could be up all night. I think a list that long deserves it's own post anyway. All I really wanted to do here was post these pictures and look what happened.
Click them to enlarge and marvel at how happy I look:)